i smelled an adventure

And i was right. My flights were all delayed and I didn't get to new jersey until around 11. It was an hour cab ride to my hotel. My luggage didn't make it. I had a white v-neck, cut off khakis and flip flops. This is what I had to wear to the army base today. Everyone else was dressed nice, even with ties. It sucked. I didn't even have hair gel, so I sported a white man fro all day.

I got back to the hotel, still no luggage. My coworker drove me to the mall to by emergency clothes. We got back to the hotel. You can guess the rest of the story.


Luggage was there.


On a side note, I think I hate new Jersey. It's ugly and the people are loud and boisterous.

I hate travelling.

Picture 005
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

Another travel day and crisis looms. I was supposed to land in Detroit, fly to newark, and meet a coworker where we would rent a car and drive to someplace 45 mins away. Northwest Airlines graciously intervened with delays and made this impossible. So I hope to make it the hotel by midnight tonight at the earliest. I've been entertaining myself in detroit for a few hours. Here are 3 of the 275 sketches I was able to do today.

Being trapped in the airport all day, eating shitty expensive air port food, you at some point you are going to have to poop. This is quite the process. There is no such thing as a low traffic restroom here at Detroit metro, so I have developed a pooper-selection process which I will share with you. I hope you will find it as useful as I have.

1) Enter bathroom, immediately make a decision regarding the cleanliness state, if you see anything disturbing at first glance, leave and find a new.
2) Kick open the door of each stall (touch nothing with your hands). Any seat with liquid on it is disqualified. Same goes for pools of p on the floor.
3) Once you find a stall, ensure nobody is on either side. You don't need neighbors for this.
4) Place your bags in the center making sure the straps don't touch the floor. Too many germs. You will wrap your legs around them so thieves cannot reach under and swipe them. In a few minutes will be in no shape for running.
5) Use the seat paper!!!!!!
6) poop.
7) Gather your belongings, move immediately to the sink. Scrub your hands as though you are about to perform open heart surgery.
8) Leave the bathroom then wash your hands with the anti germ hand cleanser your should be carrying.

Picture 001

Picture 001
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I'm tired and feel withdrawn.

Picture 002

Picture 002
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

Some old lady.

urine gone

I want to buy this, just for the light, and the devious things that it may reveal.

Whiskey bent.

Picture
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

Its been a long time since I woke up to a bottle of Makers Mark on the bedside table next to me. It's so rock-n-roll.

It wasn't mine though, that stuff is horrible.

street art

Picture020
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

On the way to breakfast this morning I saw this on the streets of Nashville. It made my day.

Honky Tonkin'

My day started at 3:30 when fred decided he wanted to sing. I was going on 3.5 hours of sleep but had to get up at 4 anyway for a 6 am flight. First class all the way to Tennessee (thank you frequent flier miles) with a nice 4 hour layover of people watching time.

I didn't bother writing down directions, the name, or the address of the hotel i was staying at, or to reserve a rental car, or to make plans for tonight, but it all worked out. I snagged a car, called for directions and made it to the hotel. Since I lost touched years ago with most of the people I was to meet, I didn't have any numbers. This realization hit about 5 pm so I decided to grab some dinner and go see Land of the Dead. On the way to the theater my phone rangs Ronnie G. said, "We have a keg of busch light draft, let's go to the rehearsal dinner."

Thus the night begins.

From there a series of events led me to downtown Nashville on a hot, humid, summer night with a group of high school friends. It was a blast, and Nashville has a certain character, although I lost at least 2lbs of body weight to perspiration. Every bar is filled with nut-huggin-jean-wearin cowboy types and bands playing country music. It's a very relaxed vibe. My friends all married each other and reproduced. They showed me pictures of their kids.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"I live with my brother and my dog fred. We have lots of trashcans."

Most of the time I think my humor is lost on people.

I currently smell like a gym and 100 marlboros. It's bedtime.

I went to Walgreens last night to pick up some stuff. Not only do they medicine you know, they sell a wide assortment of shit ranging from groceries to flip flops. It's quite staggering. I thought to myself, "Who comes here to shop for junk like this?" Little did I know my question was soon to be answered. I approached the two checkout lanes where only 1 was being staffed. In front of me, 1 lady, 1 shopping cart, 876 items. "Ah. She does......Figures." 

The hat. At first I hated it. Then parts of it started glowing, and I really love glowing. Now we are on friendly terms. 20 minutes ago I was cursing and was ready to throw it away. Then, suddenly, it just worked.  

Mr. Spock.

This is kind of random, I stumbled across it earlier today. Do you remember Leonard Nimoy, the guy who played Mr. Spock on star trek? Ever wonder what he is up to these days?

He's turned into quite the accomplished photographer.

These aren't quite safe for work. He seems to have a thing for large naked women, but some of his other stuff is pretty good. I am fascinated by people who completely change their careers....


His photos.

Kickin it.

Picture 436
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

Painting on the floor of the dining room.


This was a really fun way to spend a Sunday when it is near 100 degrees outside. We told filthy stories and worked on some projects....

unrealized expectations

I had high hopes for the weekend. So much stuff I needed to do, the wedding is this weekend, I need some new clothes. The house was dirty; i needed to clean. Art class was today; I needed to prepare. At 4 pm on Friday one of the guys came by at work, "Happy hour tonight at 6." "Why not?", I thought to myself.

What a mistake.

It was one of those nights which make you swear off alcohol forever. For whatever reason (though I didn't drink that much), I was just sick on Saturday morning. I woke up and sat up in bed. That small movement triggered a chain reaction thoughout my body. I instantly knew it was time to purge, I also knew, I wasn't making it to the bathroom. So I purged over the side of the bed and collapsed. A few minutes later I heard "Thwwp, Thwwwp, Thwwp."


The idiot dog was eating my vomit.

I know. It's gross. Sorry.

But it is true events. This grossed me out so much I puked again, this time on him. Serves him right.

I woke up a few hours later and slowly leaned over the side of the bed fearing what I would see.

What did I see? Nothing. He cleaned it all up for me. :)

However, I was ruined for the day. I spent the entire day on the couch and didn't feel better until much later in the night.

Sunday was a plus. I hosted my art class and I think it went over really well.

Overheard at my house

R: So, you should probably know, I am having people over sunday for an art class.

(only a select few people are ever people are ever invited to cross over our threshold. yes, we are sort of wierd i guess.)

E: Oh. My. God.

E: .....

E: You have got to be kidding me.

E: ......

E: ......

E: I'm going to have to do some cleaning.

E: .....

E: Why do you do these things?

Started on the dreads, but quickly lost motivation as they are a pain in the ass. 

sketch dump.

sketchdump132
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

A little foreplay with watercolor and char cole. My carpet is ruined by the way. No deposit will be coming back. It's partly my fault. I spill, quite often, an assortment of items. Also fred ate a whole in it. Then he pooped long stringy things. One didn't come out all the way, so it was a dangler. I made Evan try and pull it out, but it was in there tight. We had to take scissors and trim it flush with his anus.

Oppresive heat and skunky pits.

This is the fun part. Everything I do adds more life. You make a stroke and immediately run to the other side of the room and see how it looks. Everything is coming together now, but those dreads are going to be painful, I can feel it forever in my bones. 

So fun.

sketchdump131
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

This is maybe my favorite picture i have ever drawn and it took like 10 minutes. Fred stole one of my pencils and ate it though, charcoal must taste good. I licked a piece to check it out, it doesn't.

cheese graters and flaming tables

I scored a treasure this week at the library with, "Conspiracy of Fools". It's a book about the Enron scandal. So interesting, I can't put it down. The majority of yesterday was spent on the love sofa reading and napping. Seriously, after reading this, I want to put my money in mason jars and bury it in the backyard. I did also score a sweet watercolor book too, I am hoping to experiment a little tonight with some of the ideas.

So since I was feeling all smart for reading books about corporate finance, later that evening it was time to return to my roots. Now, I don't order pay-per-views anymore, but we did order the ECW one night stand pay-per-view last night.

It was freaking awesome!

We were yelling at the tv, the dog was howling. There was one match with the Dudley Boyz vs. Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman. They broke out cheese graters and were using them on each other's heads. Since I am squeamish, I nearly puked. It was great. I just wish this kind of show was on regular tv every week. During college, we had two tv's in the living room stacked on each other so we could watch both Raw & Nitro. That was the heyday.

I got my money in the mail today. Nobody stole it.

Yet.

I feel like relief. Now if I can just get my moolah for the stupid camera back life will be grandiose.

thug life baby

sketchdump130
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

Overheard at my house

E: Fuck! Fuckin' sonic! Those sons of bitches didn't give me any marinara sauce for my cheese sticks.....


E: Those things are useless without marinara sauce.

R: HAHAHAAHAHA!

E: To top it all off they had a guy bring it out to me. I didn't even want to eat it after that.

What a chore that was. I was about ready to give up and destroy this, but instead I cam home tonight and gave it one last try. The skin is toned the way i want it, now i can move on to the shirt and pants. She looks wierd right now, but some dreads will cover a lot of the face and her left upper torso. They are going to be a bitch. 

life is a cold ski.

sketchdump129
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I discovered tonight that with the wonders of DVR, i can tape shows and pause at any time and use it as a photo reference for drawing. I'm in state of bliss. Expect more wrestling drawings. Many more.

If you don't get the ski reference, your missing out. Look here Ski.
This stuff is crack. I think you can only get it in the midwest though.

Let's do paranoid.

As the years slowly creep up upon me, I notice myself becoming more and more paranoid about trivial day to day occurances. I fear the jip. First the camera man jipped me (I am currently in battle with Amazon.com). I worry a lot that I will take back all of my library books except the one that fell behind the couch. Wierd eh? I worry that the grease pool in the grill will ignite.....after I have turned the grill off.

Now, these are trivial, but here is a good one. I cashed out my 401k from ibm and am going to roll it into an IRA. It's a lot of money (to me anyway). The only option I had was for them to mail me a check. Let me tell you, I'm sweating balls right now. Speaking of balls. If you google abnormally large testicle photos, my blog comes up. I feel like a proud daddy. Try it, BIG BALLS

I digress....

So I watched a 20/20 about mail fraud, I am convinced the said check will arrive but will be stolen by an evil doer from my mailbox. I've hurried home everyday at lunch this week to intercept the mailman, but still no check. Now I've resorted to calling the place and talking to them in a pimp like voice, "Where's my money?!!?"

Nashville is coming up. So excited. After that weekend I will depart from Nashville and make my way to a military base in New Jersey for work. For some reason, I am sensing an adventure out of this one.....

grill lickin

grill lickin
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I'm really not one of the those wierd dog people, I swear. My dog just always does funny shit. Case in point. Being manly men, we grill often. After grilling the pool of yuck liquifies and drips down. I caught captain retardo with has face buried in the mesh lickin' some sweet greasy drippins.

I wonder sometimes.

supper
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I wonder if the makers of soft drinks strategically planned it such that the circumference of the can fits perfectly into the mouth of a mason jar. You can open your drink, balance it, and walk away. The depth is perfect as your are guaranteed that the foam will never overflow. I love simplicity in every day life.

Day 4. Just a little shading to let me know whats what. Next step is all the skin. I kind of have to do it in one shot as I can never get the colors to match up if do it over multiple days. Right now I am still just blocking in areas and picking which colors i like. 

living room

living room
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I will give you a tour of my living room. Click on the picture, it's semi interactive.

sketchdump128

sketchdump128
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

old chevy

old chevy
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I'm a sucker for an old chevrolet.

Walking with fred, my orange dog.

eerie walk
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

my filthy hands.

sketchdump127
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

It wouldn't be sunday without a little sketch action. I awoke at 5 am and my body was reluctant to return to sleep. Instead, I cleaned the house, got some new songs and practiced the guitar a bit. This was cranked out in the afternoon while I watched cartoons.


My ultimate effort today was the purchase of numerous trash recipticles. To curtail the filth which plagues my home, I find it necessary to have a trash can in each room. Unfortunately, I suspect that it if isn't in arms reach of the sitter, the problem will persist. Ultimately, I may need to replace the end tables with trash cans.

Thank you Dick Blick for your timely delivery of white. It was desperately needed. I work from the back forward, so first I had to deal with the umbrella in the background. The backround has to be blurry and kind of out focus, that will give it some depth.

That's all for today. I'm sleepy.

 

Fred's red penis pops out when he sits.

No new art until the weekend. I have a hot tub party on friday, and have been doing code red body maintenance at the gym every night this week and getting home too late to be creative.

I'll leave you with a treat until then. Do you remember the very first time you saw drugs? I do. I was the tender young age of twelve. Awful young eh?
Here is how it went down.

My dad has a slew of biker buddies. When i was a kid sometimes at night he would go work on the motor bikes at his friend's place and we would tag along. One of these guys was quite a character. He sported the typical biker motif, black shirt, dirty jeans, zz top style beard and he talked realllll slow. We liked going over to his house because he had pictures of bare breasted women on the walls. Such things are a kick to a twelve year old buy. Most of the time we would just watch tv upstairs while they did the mechanicing in the garage. On one particular evening it was deduced that a part was needed. Slow talking biker buddy was sent to retrieve such part and I tagged along with him.....in his 80's model trans am.

Let's take a moment and reflect. Bikers, big beards, slow talkers, and 80's style trans-ams. If I had been a little older I would have known where this was heading, however, I was young and naive.

So off we went to with the t-tops out, wind wipping through my hair and his beard, to Chandler, Indiana, a town known for speed traps and an abundance of car lots only selling 5 or 6 shitty cars. We rolled into an old farmhouse to get the part. Of course, a little biker family lived there. After the part was exchanged biker family asked slow talker if he wanted to get high. Nancy Reagan was all I could think of. So that was the first time I saw drugs. On the way out the door after this little soirre (sp?) slow talker said, "You may have to drive home." I was only twelve, but I was cool with that part of the night. I will never forget that night.

Years and years later I came home from college one weekend. I went to the garage (family owned business) and the afore mentioned slow talker was laying under an rv working on it. I heard him mutter the following to himself:

"Where's that dang ol' screwdriver? Ah always lose all muh toooools. I tell you what, if a feller' (he actually said feller) could invent a mag - net - ic vest to stick his tools to, why he could make ah million dollars."

Personally, I thought it was sheer genius.

On a side note:

To the amazon.com seller who jipped me on the expensive camera. Yes, my only recourse is to leave bad feedback and I know I will get my money back, but if I ever meet you I am going to kick you in the nuts just for inconvienencing me.