Spiders in the mirror and guns on my mind.

I realize I write about things that perhaps no other humans care about, but for me they are astounding and I feel that writing is a skill which must be practiced often. Diaboliqual events have transpired today which engorged my fascination. After going to the gym I began my abbreviated Sunday domestic rituals of cleaning filth. I perform this task shirtless as all clothing is in a laundry state of mind and really, that is just what boys do. Of course the domestic tasks last approximately 13 minutes before a break is needed; I grabbed the black fender acoustic guitar and headed for the back porch to briefly kick out the hard jams (I don't bridge sentences with semi colons often enough). As the sunlight cascaded upon my body, I glance down too make sure my gut was not too large (you need to keep an eye on these things), too my horror I saw something dangling in the wind. A single clear hair sprouting from my midriff dangled loosely in the breeze. It must have been growing since puberty as it was approximately seven inches long. How could I have not noticed something like this before?!? Of course I immediately plucked this foreign intruder from my body as thoughts were racing through my head. Are there others?? A quick spot check revealed nothing, although the paranoia persists. We are a culture of body maintanence and self-improvement and I am tangled in the web.