Man style home repair - the efficient way

Sunday is generally my day for domestics. As I was out of town last weekend, the house was putting off a foul stench and every article of clothing I own was dirty, lying on the floor, underneath the smelly orange dog. Today was my chance to rectify things.

I grabbed my adidas sandles (the ones with the spiky bottom), put on a headset, and got to work. After accomplishing the before mentioned duties, I thought it would be nice to bake a big roast for dinner. The prep work did not take long and I set the oven to preheat.

Let me rewind a bit.....Our previous residence did not have a functioning stove. We lived like that for over a year.

25 minutes post present. Still no flame in the stove. It's been flaky lately.

R: The fucking stove won't like and I already have my roast in the bag.

E: That things a goddamn piece of shit. I took me 2 hours to cook a pizza. Just go buy a toaster oven.

(I did some investigation on the internet. The ignitor valve was probably bad. Estimated cost: 100 dollars plus 4 days wait
Net result: Shitty ugly stove with new ignitor valve)

R: Load up. Let's go get a new one.

Sears salesman: What can i help you with?

R: What's the cheapest stainless steel stove that you have in stock?

SS: The g-130blah. It's right here.

R: Sold. Write it up.

SS If you wait 2 hours it will be on sale for an additional 50 dollars off.

R: Write it up now.

SS: Did you measure your space?

R: Uh.

E: Uh.

E: We'll just knock the end cabinet off with the sledgehammer.

SS: Shocked look.


We were in and out in under 25 minutes. Another 15 minutes to install the stove. It even fit in place and we didn't have to destruct anything.

The roast is in the oven and will be done by 7:30.

Life is good.