The end of lesser days.

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Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

As my time at the IBM corporation comes to a close I want to relate a story of an infamous co-worker, the Dirty Syrian.

The Syrian showed up a few months after I started straight from the Boston area. His first day of work he arrived dressed as though he was hitting the club scene and complete with his bling-bling. It only took one conversation with him for me to realize he was the vilest, filthiest, dirtiest man ever to walk the Earth.

I liked him immediately.

The Syrian was known for three things:

1) Laziness
2) Loudness
3) Stench

Let me explain.

In 8 months I never saw him do work. This is not an exaggeration, the guy did nothing but play dynomite all day at work. He wasn't shy about it either. You would call him and he would say, "Dude! Dude! Dude! Let me call you back, I'm on level 8 and this shit is hard!" He had dynomite down to a science and was always giving me strategic tips.

The guy had the loudest voice I had ever heard. 2 girls shared an office across from the hall me. Syrian would come in Monday morning from boston, walk in to my office and say in the loudest voice, "Dude! Dude! Dude! Man I had a prostitute sniff coke off of my **** this weekend. It was great!

"SHHHHHH!!!!! Dude, you are gonna get me fired for your filthiness, I would say."
He would leave and immediately the girls from next door would come in. "That is the filthiest man alive", they informed me.

True dat.

The Syrian had one skill that I couldn't top. He would come into our office and let the vilest, rankest, nastiest, fart and then leave. The kicker was it was time released. 4 minutes would pass before the stink let free. It totally defied science. Eventually, Rutar (my brother from a different mother) and I banned him from our office.

One day our manager was in our office and had a question. "Can you call the Syrian over here?" We had to explain to him we couldn't because he was banned from our office for crop dusting us. "He did that? I think he did that too me too. I am banning him from my office as well."

Eventually the Syrian left us, moving back to Boston. This was during layoff season. We always knew layoffs were coming because a skid of "layoff boxes" would show up in the printer room.
He asked us to help him move. THe kid had packed up his entire house with layoff boxes (they were kind of small).

"Dude, how did you get all those?"

"It was easy, I just took 10 a day for a week. I walked right out with them."

Unbelievable.

I miss that kid.