Overheard at my house

E: Where are those pepsi's you said you bought?

Me: They were in the truck, I just brought them in.

E: If I couldn't find them by 9:00, i was going to eat your chex mix.

Me: Dang! I forgot I had chex mix, I am gonna eat the whole bag.

E: Can I have half?

Me: No.

E: Can I have a can of tuna? I don't have any food.

Me: Yeah, but only if you promise to put some pants on. Seeing those saggy tighty whities reminds me of dad. It's icky.

E: I'm getting ready to back to my room.

......

Me: DID YOU EAT ALL THE THIN MINT GIRL SCOUT COOKIES??!!!???

E: They're crack. I couldn't help myself.

Me: You owe me 4 dollars.