I lost the morning and then I lost the afternoon.

sketchdump 163
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I've eaten my last skillet sensation.

Garlic chicken, that's the one that did me in. With the first bite, I knew something was amiss. My body began alerting me to cease and desist, although I chose not to heed the warnings. 15 minutes later things went from bad to worse. The garlic taste was seeping up in my esophagus and lingering in my mouth. I tried to wash it down with some water, but the garlic chicken prevailed. I won't go into further details but just be sure, I'm done with pre-packaged food.

We considered calling stupid to fix the stove, but the house was too dirty. Instead, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a toaster oven. I hate shopping there. It's filled with girls buying dumb, useless things for their apartments. Boys are truly much more efficient (at least I am). The BB&B experience is both sad and unfortuanate. Occasionally, you will pass another male who happens to be in tow of his significant other. They tend to walk with their heads pointed downard and at the last second he will look up and meet your eyes with a glazed, beaten look, as if saying, "Sigh....I know. It's come to this." I try not to look, affording them some dignity, but it makes me want to scream, "What are you doing here picking out drapes??!? It's not right, man. This is not your place."

I continued on....

For a moment, I caught myself looking at a complete silverware set. "Look at that. Spoons. How nice would that be?", I thought. Reality quickly consumed me though. I cannot spend 30-100 dollars on silverware. It goes against every principal I hold dear.

So I just bought a toaster oven instead.

That being said, I now feel like a 9 year girl old cooking in a ready bake oven, luckily, my manhood is quite secure and it's not quite so threatening.

So you can see, dear friends, things are good. I scored a free ticket to a George Carlin show this Saturday and I ran two miles today before my brain hemmorage kicked in. The house is stinky, we forgot to take out the trash last week, and yesterday the air conditioner quit because we had never changed the filter. Things are as they should be.