Savage beast.

Picture 592
Originally uploaded by ruelloehr.

I was dorking around tonight and found a cool photo of a rhino. I've been on a mad charcoal kick as of late, so I thought, hey, I'll draw a little safari scene.

I'm multitasking of course by drawing and cooking dinner (2 hot ham and cheeses).

We pretty much have no food except for old ham which smelled questionable and stale bread. Being a clever guy, I figured if I cooked it in the skillet I wouldn't notice the staleness of the bread and would probably (hopefully) kill any bad germs the old ham might have.

To be efficient, I cook them both at the same time. Some sort of distraction occurred, and I ended up violently burning one side of each sandwich. I had used the last of the stale bread so a bun intervention was not even possible. Instead, I smooshed them together into a whopper hot ham and cheese.

Anyways....

I come back to the big rhino to finish my picture and my little bag of charcoal is gone.

"FRED!!!!!!!"

Fred has a charcoal fetish. The shit is like crack to him. He eats it. So far, it hasn't been toxic. I tracked the little bastard down. He was hiding in the corner next to my now empty bag of charcoal. He looked like a crackhead who just cleaned a chimney. His orange fur was caked with charcoal. I pointed at him and he immediately gave me the Fred Savage snarl, exposing his blackened teeth and tounge. It was hard to stay angry, but he need punishment real bad so I grabbed him, put him over my knee, and spanked his furry ass 3 times like a little bitch, real hard.

He took it like a champ, so I was proud of my little guy. I got up to seek out more charcoal at which point he assaulted me and bit me twice leaving teethmarks and a black mark where his lip me my arm.

We made up later and he gave me five.


PS

My dad is at a biker rally somewhere in the dakota's. I have decided that I want go with him to one of these "rally's". I will disguise myself by drawing on some tatts, not shaving for a few weeks, and wearing lots of leather. I want to infultrate this group with a camera as I have no doubt I could get some stellar pictures out of it. What a great coffee table book that would make! My week as a biker by Ruel Loehr. I would provide an outsider's take on the outlaw world of the biker gangs.