Overheard in my house

E: I woke up at midnight last night and stayed up till 5. I was dead today.

R: What did you do?

E: Death wish 4 came on. I was like, "Oh yeah!"

R: Lucky!

E: Is that the new standard (hometown newspaper)?

R: Yeah. Check out the police reports, see if there is anyone we know.

E: K. Mom said Preacher J. got running a meth lab. She always tells me how good he is doing.

E: Here's one. Jeremmy Clark. Remember him?

R: He was a punker who worked at Hardee's right?

E: Yeah, real ugly mother fucker. He used to always give me the senior citizens discount.

R: What did he get?

E: Driving while intoxicated, faulty taillights, refusing breathalyzer. Those guys always get drunk and drive around in shitty cars.

R: He was nice, but he was really ugly. All the ugly punkers worked at Hardees.

E: I'm glad we bought a lawnmower. We've saved 140 bucks already.

R: Eh? We've used it once. The grass is knee high.

E: Yeah, but if that dude was still doing it he would have mowed like 4 times by now.

R: I want to customize it. It needs some skulls and flames.