pondering the universe

The vast majority of my friends, being twenty somethings and not yet ready for the burden of children or spouses have invested in dogs. I'm continually pestered to bring "my dog" out to the park for pseudo-adult ritualistic congregation with other dog owners and their pets. I always have an excuse. After relentless prodding, I finally relented.

When we arrived at the dog park (hereto referred to as the "poop pit"), Fred Savage had a crazed look upon his face. He actually looked like a crack head, eyes bulging and tongue hanging out of his mouth. I suppose if I lived with a different species and was suddenly immersed in my own kind, I would probably act wierd to. I approached my group, all casually talking with their well behaved dogs frolicking together and chasing tennis balls. Fred hunched over and had diahrrea. "Why don't you let him off the leash?" "I don't know. He is fast and hard to catch. He usually just runs away." "Oh come on. We are surrounded on three sides by water. There is nowhere for him to go."
"Okay, okay." I released the leash mechanism, and Fred promptly turned a 180 and sprinted. Like Forest Gump, he started running and running did not stop. After 10 seconds, i saw him cresting a hill. My friends stood with a sympathetic look upon their face. I think I now know what it would feel like to have a stupid child and get a look of disapproval from the other parents. After a short run, I chased him down and returned to the group. "Maybe it was just a fluke", I thought, "let's try this again" The moment of leash releasal occurred and he was gone. He spent the remainder of the day leashed and sniffing the anuses of the hounds.

Speaking of anuses

I was privy to a public restroom conversation which left me stunned. 2 men were standing at the urinals, urinating, and having a casual conversation. This is in itself wierd to me. If jesus christ himself was at the urinal next to me, I would stand like a silent buddha and I would probably have stage fright. I know I cannot do this conversation justice with text.

Man 1: So those HP blade servers are supposed to be great.

Man 2: My department just put in reqs for 2. Hopefully management will approve it.

Man 1: We can use them for our
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oh hang on
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(grunting noise)
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(at this point he lets a huge ass fart)
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ahhhhh
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anyway, we can use them for our build server.

Not only do I not speak with people while i am peeing, I certainly do not drop ass mid conversation. The etymology of this whole incident has left me bewildered and reconsiderng all societal norms.