It doesn't look like that in the picture.

I woke up Saturday CRAVING a #2 combo from McDonalds.
So indulged myself. You know how when you go someplace with lines, you scan them first to find a quick moving one, examining both customers and the retail associate?

I chose poorly.

In front of me was a heavy set man of girthy proportions. He made his order, and then with the speed of a sloth, counted out exact change. I quickly then made my order, paid, and retreated to the rear of the herd awaiting my meal.

Captain slow's meal arrived first, a big breakfast platter. He examined it by moving his head very, very close to the tray. He then picked up the tray and held it at eye's level, comparing it to the picture on the sign above. At this point, my level of intrigue is sky-high and I have all but forgotten about the emptiness in my stomach.

"The picture has more eggs. I want my money back", Captain Slow slowly said.

I was in shock.

Needless to say, he was right, but Jesus Christ man, it's a McDonalds. What do you really expect?

I sat down to eat my meal but the good Captain's philosphy had it eerie grips upon me. How many times in life do we get things that really don't turn out like the picture on the box? When I was a kid, GI Joe had these bomb-ass commercials where a desert scene was set up with the Joes vs. the Cobra's. You nearly creamed your pants in anticipation of what would happen. Of course, you bought the Destro figure at Wal-Mart, brought it home, twisted it's 4 moveable joints for 5 minutes before you realized it sucked. Then you just pulled the arms off.

I think as a kid you are more optimistic, but once in adult-hood, your just sorta beat down from the whole experience.

That is unless, your name is Captain Slow.