Overheard outside my house:

E: Come out here and smell. It's the most beautiful smell I've ever smelled in my life.

R: My god, that is wonderful.

E: It smells like a hot chicks perfume.

R: It smells like the swiffer wet jet stuff.

E: If could smell this everyday i would be the happiest man alive.

R: ...

E: I just stepped on a snail. He was thinking, "This is the most beau-" squish.