real life email

While in my margarita-induced coma, I came up with a perfect solution. It's so obvious I can't believe we missed it. Ruel's brother should be our lead singer. Let's weigh the pros and cons:

Pros
1. He's got tattoos
2. He's mean
3. He can direct his rage, through music, at society, police, whatever, instead of at his brother's/housemate's obnoxiously loud friend with a drumset.
4. We can practice AT ANY TIME.

Cons
1. He's mean.

The results of this comprehensive assessment are decisive -- Ruel's brother must become our lead singer. You can't argue with science (or bulleted lists). Ruel, notify your brother of his new appointment.

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